At what age did you start thinking about college? 7th grade
At what age did your parents first start talking with you about college? 6th grade. In my middle school, we only started getting letter grades in grade 6. That was when my parents sat me down and had a talk with me about the role of grades in my life, both in the short term and in the long term. It took me until about 7th grade to realize that the grades I got in middle school didn't matter at all but the grades I got in high school were crucial. While the grades I got in middle school didn't matter, my parents still put pressure on me to do well because I was learning the skills that I would need to use to get good grades in high school.
Were you glad that they started talking with you about college at that age? Do you think it should have been earlier or later? I think they started talking to me about college at around the right age. I think that summer going into 6th grade would have been the best time for them to do it because 6th grade would be when I start getting grades and so it is important for me to understand the role that grades would play in my lifetime. What grade did Brookline Public Schools start talking about college? Do you think it should have been earlier or later? Brookline as a school system started talking officially talking about college during freshman year. I think this is the appropriate time to start because while there is a misconception that what you do freshman year doesn't matter, when in fact, it does. Not only do the classes you take freshman year help determine the classes you take for the rest of your career in high school, but colleges can also see the grades you receive freshman year.
Where did the pressure to get into a top university come from? In the beginning, the pressure to get into a good college came from my parents but starting late freshman year, the pressure came from both myself and my parents. I went to a public school with a graduating class of 419 kids. My school did not care if you did well or not as long as you were passing your classes. There was absolutely no pressure from my high school to get into college in general none the less a top college. This meant that those who were self motivated, or had strong motivations at home, were at a huge advantage.
How do you think your public school experience compares to a private school experience? In high school, I had friends who were in private school whose experiences were very different from mine. Starting freshman year they would have mandatory meetings with their guidance counselors to discuss their plan throughout high school in order to get into the college of their choice. If they were falling behind in a class, the teacher would chase them to get their assignments in and try to help them do well in the class. I personally prefered my schools methods because I believe that I am much more prepared for college than many other people. In college, professors don't care if you don’t do your assignments, fail a test, or skip class. It is up to you to be on top of your work.
Do you think that you still would have gotten into your college without this pressure? No. Not only did my parents pressure me to do well in high school but they pressured me into making smart college application choices. When I didn't get into my early decision school (Duke), I wanted to apply Early Decision 2 to Vanderbilt. My mom told me that if i didn't get into Duke, I probably wasn't going to get into Vanderbilt. That logic along with a lot of pressure mainly from my mom made me apply early decision 2 to Emory instead. I am very glad that I did because I don't think that I would have gotten into Vanderbilt early or Emory regular decision so my mom’s pressure really got me to the best school I could've gotten into.
Do you think you could have gotten into a better school if you had had more pressure on you in total? Absolutely. If my parents really had forced me to get all As, I think that I could have gotten into a better school.
Do you think you could have gotten into a better school if you had had more pressure on you starting at a younger age? No, I think the age in which they started pressuring me (about 7th grade) was appropriate.
Why do you think that kids are starting to get pressure at a younger age? Parents know that getting into college is becoming more competitive and this means that you need to start working with your kids at a younger age to make sure they are ahead of the curve.
What role do you think gender plays in the age that children start feeling pressure to get into college? In America in 2015, I don't think it does. I think that gender has a fairly small role in college admissions these days.
Where did your parents go to school? My mom started at University of Virginia and transferred to Harvard her sophomore year. She then went to Yale’s school of management. My dad went to college in Israel and eventually came to Harvard for his residency. My mom is one of 5 children and 4 of them, along with their father went to UVA. Some of my cousins are there now as well however they are Virginia residence so it was very easy for them to get in.
How did where they went to college affect your decision? I knew that I had no chance of getting into Harvard or Yale so them going there had little effect on me, but the fact that my mom went to UVA, made it one of my top choices. Because she transferred and my grandfather (who had also attended UVA) died, I was not considered legacy.